So this is how I got to where I am today.

I was born in 1957 to an unwed mother, which was scandalous for that time period. I spent a lot of time with relatives until I was four years old when I was sent to kindergarten. In 1961 there were no age requirements for starting school, the child just had to turn five while in kindergarten. So off I went. I walked to school, mostly by myself, two blocks down, turn right at the corner, seven blocks to school. There were other, older kids who walked the same route and we usually walked somewhat together.

I was a thin, shy child. At home I was punished often and I think it made me fearful that every adult would punish me. So I was mostly the quiet child except for the random times I felt like being rambunctious and got into trouble. I remember one time in first grade, we were boarding a bus to go on an afternoon field trip. Some other girl and I decided to act up on the bus. I stuck my tongue out at her and she swung her arm like she was going to hit my tongue. Well, neither of us went on the field trip that day. Instead our teacher took us back to the classroom for our punishment. At that time most classrooms were built with the cloakroom (where you hang your cloak!) in the back or on the side of the room. Each end had an open doorway, so the students went in one door, hung up their things, and went out the other door. So this girl and I each had to stand in a doorway and keep doing what we were doing on the bus. She had to stand there for an hour swinging her arms. I just had to keep sticking my tongue out. But I really wanted to go on the field trip.

The summer before I started third grade my mother moved us and my younger brother into public housing, better known as the projects. It was cheaper to live there and my brother and I could walk to the Catholic school nine blocks away and get started on our proper religious education. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed growing up Catholic and I loved going to school, but you put a pale white rail-skinny Catholic girl in the projects and you are asking for trouble. By that time in my life I had learned to run my mouth but I didn’t have the physicality to back it up, so I usually ended up getting beat up. It’s not as bad as it sounds; beat up usually meant punched once and pushed down. I spent my fair share of time on the ground. I might not have been so mouthy if I’d had a few friends, but the only kids I played with were other poor project kids like myself. Many of the Catholic school kids had families that were ‘comfortable’, so we didn’t fit in with them. And it was about this time that my mother began discouraging me from making friends. I couldn’t get too close to other kids because they would want to know about my father, and I would either have to lie, which is a sin, or tell the truth and then they would know I was a bastard. So I spent most of my time watching TV and reading whatever was available.

Eventually I graduated high school and started college where I learned the fine art of partying. I didn’t finish college, partly because I almost never went to class, and partly because I became pregnant.

After my first son was born I married the baby daddy and gained thirty pounds in three months. My husband and I managed to stay married for eleven years and have two more children, but it was no picnic. I never felt he wanted to be married to me. I feel as though he was as miserable in our marriage as I was. In the course of eleven years I managed to eat my way to 300 pounds. It didn’t look totally horrible since I am six feet tall, but it looked pretty bad. My feet hurt, my back hurt, I had no energy, and I was only thirty-one! And then we separated, and soon divorced. I had to work two jobs to make ends meet and there wasn’t much time to eat, or much money for extra food, so the weight started falling off and for the first time in a long time I started feeling good about myself. My weight has gone up and down over the years since.

My children are grown and I am a grandmother of four. I’ve learned many things along the way, and I want to share whatever knowledge I have with you. I want us to learn more about our health and how to eat healthy and maintain a good weight. I want us to learn how to avoid scams and other financial disasters. If you are raising your grandchildren I want to help you find resources and information to support you. If you are caring for an older person, or just want to know what life is like for an older person, I want to be there with you.

I am finally learning to come to terms with the bad periods of my life and learning how to cherish the good times. I feel I’ve learned a lot along the way, and if I can help one older person avoid a bad situation or learn to love life then I will consider myself happy. I could blame my bad childhood or my crappy marriage or my surgeries on my problems, and I’m sure they had some bearing on it. But the truth is that while they led to some of my problems and added to others, in the end I am the only one who can take charge of my life and make it something better. I hope you will come along on this journey with me.

Ruth